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Group Discussion: Is love marriage better than an arranged marriage?

Love marriages are better:

1. Marriage is a life-long commitment. So, the power to choose one’s life partner should be in the hands of the individual.
2. Love is the base of marriage. In love marriages, the start of marriage is with love because of which the couple can focus on other things in the family. Thus, the conflicts are minimal.
3. Those who want to go for love marriage have more choices for compatibility than those who go for an arranged marriage because arranged marriages mostly happen with the people of the same caste, class, or religion.
4. India being a patriarchal society, the girl always finds more respect in the relationship built out of love marriage.
5. The couples in a love marriage are more likely to support each other in career progression because such things are already well discussed during their courtship.
6. It is true that the divorce rate in love marriages is high because the couples are mostly independent and in case differences between them become irreparable, they are able to separate rather than endure mental and physical trauma.
7. The dowry is never an issue in love marriages. Thus, our society escapes from this evil. In most arranged marriages, the girl is rarely as educated or in as respectable job as the boy. Thus, compatibility issues crop up later in arranged marriages.
8. The courtship before love marriage reveals quite a lot about each other. Hence, a couple enters the marriage after due consideration of each other’s limitations. This avoids unnecessary expectations and heart burns.
9. The Sex life in love marriage is likely to be better as both man & woman will be comfortable right from the start to discuss their sex drives, sexual problems, and fantasies.
10. In this era women want to work too. In love marriages they will marry a person who will give equal priority to her rather than make her a housewife. The dating Apps and social groups on electronic media ensure that compatibility is found not only in terms of individual tastes but with respect to career as well.

Arranged marriages are better:

1. Some people argue that there is forced love in arranged marriage, I want to remind them that we love our mom, dad, brother, and sister. We fall in love with people because our mind is so gullible. Love erupts because we decide to spend our life with someone. Sex, on the other hand is compatibility issue which can go wrong for the partners anytime in the marriage.
2. In Arranged marriages, parents inquire in depth about each other’s family and their socio-economic standing. Therefore, there is a high probability that one will get into a relationship with a family and will not get cheated or ditched. This prevents trusting people blindly, which happens in some love marriages.
3. The couple who go for arranged marriage get counselled from close relatives early in case of discontent or dispute, this allows positive corrections and helps in saving the marriage.
4. The couple most likely thinks about both of their families. Hence, from the start there is tendency to adjust and make relationship work.
5. It is true that the divorce rate in love marriages is high because the couples are mostly independent and in case differences between them become irreparable, they separate easily. This causes irreparable damage to children who endure mental and physical trauma.
6. In arranged marriage, there will be great relations between both families who will come in to help and keep up a good atmosphere throughout the couple’s life compared to love marriages. Thus, the parents and sometimes even close relatives can live together with their children in their old age. The family bonding is much greater in arranged marriages.
7. Most love marriages happen because of attraction arising out of each other’s personality. Other things such as bad history of partner, economic stability, poor family background etc. gets overlooked. These are essential in long term relationship. Whereas, in arranged marriages these will all be excluded.
8. It is a myth that the best partner can be found by individuals because the number of people one comes in contact in college or work are limited. In love marriage, most people end up choosing their partner from a limited choice. However, in case of arranged marriages, the parents have lot of well filtered choice because of matrimonial sites on print and online media.
9. In arranged marriage where young couple work, the parents of the young couple provide much needed care to the children at home. Thus, the family support is better in arranged marriages.

On a lighter note:

• The man in the marriage is always balding earlier than the woman irrespective of the fact that the marriage was arranged or a love marriage.
• The family planning accidents are less likely in an arranged marriage because the girl’s/boy’s family is breathing down the necks of the young couple. 
• Marriage is tough because you have to deal with either feelings or lawyers.