Answer by Cdr RS Rathore (retd.): Most of the candidates are not sure how truthful they should be in SSB interview. This uncertainty makes them feel uncomfortable in some personal questions.
No one wishes to infringe on your personal space in the SSB Interview. Then why do they ask personal question? I do not wish to go in details but let me share that the interviewer is already aware about your socioeconomic background, your schooling (quality of school, coeducation etc.), education of your parents and your age etc. Personal question will always be asked towards the middle or towards the end of the interview by which time the interviewer is well aware of the scale at which OLQ’s are present in you. Remember, everyone in this world has all OLQ’s (in lesser or greater scale than that required by the SSB). A personal question is used to confirm OLQ’s (in the scale/quantum). The most likely OLQ’s the interviewer wants to scale-up by asking a personal question are Sense of responsibility, Social adaptability, Cooperation, Self-Confidence, Speed of decision (correctness part) and Moral courage etc.
You need to be confident talking about your life, your goals, your friends, your love etc. If you have something to hide, you are not on good moral wicket.
Your answer should have the content and depth which you would accept from your son/daughter of your age. Would you expect your son or daughter to be truthful? The answer is always, “Yes”.
So finally, be wise, whenever you are on a good moral wicket, reveal as much as you would expect your son/daughter (your age) to reveal to you. And whenever you are on a bad moral wicket, say, “I made a mistake…….” And reveal as much as you would expect your son/daughter to reveal to you. Thereafter, add what you have been doing so that the same mistake doesn’t get repeated in your life.
Let me take an example: -
Interviewer: Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? If yes, how much time do you spend together and how? Have you kissed? Have you had sex? If don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend, Why so? Are you gay? Have you tried to have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Answer by 18-year-old candidate: Sir, I don’t have a girlfriend (remember as a parent you don’t expect your 18-year-old to have a steady girlfriend. Remember he is a NDA or 10+2 candidate). I have never had the time to woo a girl earnestly and be in a relationship. I have had a liking for girls but the kind of girls I like would require me to be an officer to win them over.
Now, such a candidate wants to win a girl on his merit and not by expressing the extent of his love to her. Remove the word “girl” and substitute “Armed Forces”. You will know what qualities we are seeing in this teenager.
Answer by 22-year-old candidate: First case: Sir, I have a girlfriend/boyfriend (remember as a parent, your 22-year-old might have a girlfriend/boyfriend). Initially for about a month, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her/him, but I know that in order to have a steady relationship, I need to make myself worthy of her/him. Hence, both of us have been focussing on our career goals and engage in helping each other by ………
Now, such a candidate if taken in Armed Forces will be able to live separated and focus on learning & his career rather than be stung by cupid arrow for life.
Second case: Sir, I don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend. The kind of girls/boys I like were never interested in me. I did have a liking/crush. I did go out with friends, but those girls/boys were just school/college friends and we met for studies/sports/parties and had fun. I know if I desire to have a steady relationship, I need to have a respectful career.
Now, the kind of person you date reflects on your personality. If you are dating a person not worthy of your social standing (present/future) in society, you are poor decision maker (such a candidate will be kept low in “Speed of Decision”)
I have deliberately not touched upon kisses or sex part in the relationship because depending upon your socioeconomic and educational background, you are the best judge as to how much you would expect your son/daughter to engage in sexual activities when he/she is of your age. You can reveal accordingly.
Note: You should think of answering questions related to porn or alcohol consumption etc. on similar lines.